Reasons not to Date a Party Girl

Dating is both an easy and a sophisticated undertaking. It can be something to look forward to as well an endeavor that can be equally dreadful. But I digress. One of the most common issues surrounding dating these days is that which pertains to dating party girls. Yes many men have found themselves in compromising situations more so after they have picked up their spouse at the local pub, a bar or in a club. It is usually the most convenient place for most guys to look for companionship but do their choices pay off in the long run?

Most men want someone to talk to, to have sex with, to marry and to sire kids with. But with all those expectations, they must understand that the type of woman who can fulfill those dreams will never be at the club. On the contrary, women who are there are in pursuit of short-lived pleasures and are usually thrill seeking. As such, I highly discourage picking up women in such places if at all you are dreaming of starting a family. However, if you are there looking for thrills, one-night-stands, quickies and the likes, be my guest. Just remember to wear protection if you value your life.

Before we list the reasons not to date a party animal, their main characteristics include:

    They go to night parties

    They like going to clubs

    They drink and/or smoke and use other drugs

Without much else to say, here are the reasons why I personally cannot marry a party girl:

1. They cannot commit.  

Non-committal is engraved in their DNA. Party girls are sexy, fun, and love to experiment hence they fear losing out or left out of social encounters. As such, they’ll tend to want relationships that are “open”. This leaves you to deal with the fact that you cannot have an exclusive relationship. She likes the idea of sleeping with other men besides you so as to stay updated and not miss out. As you know, such an arrangement is extremely dangerous as you will be exposed to risks such as STDs, raising another man’s child or even tainting your image in the society.

2. They will have more leverage in the relationship.

Party animals have men who are at their disposal all the time. Hence they can leave you if they decide you are boring or they stop deeming you as superior to their alternative boyfriends. They have standby boyfriends who can provide what you do just like a generator does when electricity goes off. In this scenario, you lose your power and she has all the cards, hence calling all the shots and there is nothing much you can do. You will end up chasing her, glorifying her, worshipping her just trying to please her. You will fear losing her and once she smells that she is better than you, you are done.

3. You will suffer from emotional sickness, I call it emotional cancer

Once you are the one making all the efforts to try and keep the relationship going, you will always find yourself monitoring her actions. And you will do that frequently in the quest to keep tabs on her so that to prevent her from straying. Doing this will not only guarantee failure, it will also put you through emotional torment that can be second to none. Once you catch her cheating, because eventually she will, you will suffer a thousand folds. Believe you me the roller coaster of emotional pain will cripple you psychologically and financially. You will be derailed from focusing on constructive things such as career and business. Instead, you will find yourself chasing her, crying, pleading to her, begging and blaming yourself. Your life will purely entail swimming an ocean of tears. Do you want to spend your life doing this?

4. She will not support you

A woman should be your companion. She is supposed to be your partner in all areas. But sadly, a party girl will have little to zero tolerance to difficult situations that you may encounter and need her. Her priorities in life lack a place to house instability. She only wants to feel good, she demands attention and she thrives when men drool over her praising her beauty. In other words, a party girl is a shallow girl. She is incapable of being the pillar at home and hence you cannot depend on her. She cannot be trusted because her attention is more captured by the pleasures of the flesh than the most important aspects of life such as life, family or spiritual well-being. You won’t enjoy the marriage life.

Bottom Line

Most women are not party animals. Most girls don’t go to a girl’s night out, they don’t go clubbing on Friday night, and definitely do not participate in arranged orgies at parties. They stay at home enjoying a Netflix series, cooking, reading magazines and chatting with their girlfriends. Those are the types of women you should be eying to marry. They are not found in clubs, rather, at the grocery shop, at the fan park or even at the bookstore. They are the kind who will give you love, they will give you companionship, they’ll give you kids, they’ll give you a family, and more importantly, they’ll give you a peace of mind.

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE BETTER TO DATE OUT THERE

There is always someone better out there, regardless of the quality of person we currently have.

      In this life that we live, there is always something better, superior, more beautiful, more interesting, and more exciting. It doesn’t matter what it is, whether it is a person, a car, a pet, a house, or anything. As regards a person, this is what touches many, since cars and houses may become unattainable due to our financial constraints. We cannot, therefore, aspire to compete beyond our financial muscles and hence even though we envy Bill Gates, et al. we are forced to accept the cars we drive and the homes we live in.

        As per people, everyone can want and can get someone better. People cannot be bought, save for the few gold diggers here and there. The rest can only be wooed, persuaded, manipulated, swayed, chased, or blackmailed into becoming our own. Consequently, it becomes easier to get who we want, depending on the circumstances and our conniving prowess. I have been able to prove this fact, bearing in mind when I get out there; I always meet a more beautiful, charming, or interesting woman than the ones I currently know.

         Since I began going out, or meeting other people, I have realized that in every place I go, there must be a special person. In almost all the scenarios, there is always this feeling that manifests which compels me to go into the “chase-mode”. Here, I channel all my energy transforming it into confidence, an aspect that I need in order to lure the target. I have done this and throughout my escapades, I have established that my success rate is ever over 80%.

          Now, here is the thing. It doesn’t matter who you have, there is always someone better-looking, more ideal, and more appealing. It is never the question of having the most beautiful person. Someone better will always materialize from the horizon. This happens particularly when one has preying eyes and is willing to meet someone new. It happens consciously and unconsciously. And the reason is simple –anyone new is better.

        It is the newness of a person that excites us. The possibilities that we wonder can happen if we mingle with this person. The untapped potential of someone new cultivates our eagerness to get to know them. We construct a positive image about the new person in our minds. We idealize them and daydream how they could perfect our lives. We perceive the new person as the missing jigsaw that will complete us and satisfy our social needs.

         When we meet this new person, we fail to rationalize the whole context. We do not consider all the probabilities that are imminent concerning the person. We only choose the good things that we want to associate them with. We do not want to spoil the moment, since we deem it faultless. We think, of course wrongly, that we have found The One^TM. We fail to interrogate ourselves whether at this vulnerable time we are logical. We become subjective as we are carried away with volatile emotions that we are oblivious are temporary.

           
           We do not look at the dark side of our new person. We do not take a keen interest of objectively cross-examining the whole situation. The person could be a serial killer, a psycho, or even the devil himself! Demonizing a person is way outside our imagination. We see them as the angel we have always wanted to meet. We exchange contacts and boom, from there on we initiate a relationship.

        Fast-forward after we have formed bonds with the new person we begin to look for someone better. We no longer find the person as fascinating as they were when we first laid our eyes on them. We become irritated with the way they do things, even the simplest of things such as breathing! Even the cutest thing we liked at first becomes gross. Our perceptions completely take a u-turn as we get used to the person. The new person is now an old person, someone that we have gotten used to. We begin finding a lot of negative attributes in them, and the imperfections in them are magnified. We cast them away into the dustbin and embark on a mission of replacing them.

        We now realize we were blinded by the newness of the person. We could not even eat because our minds had been clouded by the person. At first-sight, we behaved irrationally and elevated our stupidity to a whole new level. We cannot even stomach the idea that the person made us sleepless at night. We question our intelligence on how on earth we could be talking on the phone till 3.00 a.m despite the fact that we were to report to work at 8.00 a.m.

        These events remind us of how it is necessary to take a step back when we meet a new person that we think will be amazing, perfect, ideal, or the best we can have. A new person can be just ideal due to their rawness and cosmetic behaviors. Bearing in mind that beauty fades, a new person should not be adored, immortalized, and cherished before they prove their worth. After all, there is always someone better out there.

                                          Photo:  Brad Pitt with Jennifer Aniston in September 2000.

Brad Pitt married celebrated 'FRIENDS' actress Jeniffer Aniston in 2000. They were an iconic couple admired and envied by many. Brad had found The One and she Prince Charming. The marriage didn't last though, as Brad met someone better, Angelina Jolie.

                                  Photo: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt during the filming of Mr & Mrs Smith

A blockbuster movie, Mr & Mrs Smith charmed the imagination of every viewer. It depicted a power couple and soon afterward Pitt couldn't help but succumb to the powerful chemistry he developed  on set with his co-star. They exchanged vows in a quiet wedding in France, 2014. For Brad, angelina was the queen of his heart. She was the girl He was always Searching for. Brad thought he had striked gold, only to realize that it wasn't. She was just a girl like any other. His marriage came crushing badly and even ended in animosity and now they can't even finalize a divorce. He has since gotten back with Jeniffer and there are rumours they are moving in together. Moral of the story: New people appeal to us as being superior, more beautiful, and better. News Flash: They aren't. Think about it.

WHY CHASE MONEY IN LIFE?

        I cannot question my life as the Almighty had a reason as to why I was born. However, it puzzles me time and time again why I exist. In fact, I think that every living soul should interrogate their being on what purpose they live to fulfill. Even in my mid life, I still do not know the exact purpose of my own, which is very dangerous altogether. As I wake up each morning, the only thing that comes up, of course after thanking God for another day, is always surrounding my financial wellbeing. Is it me only that thinks that money is everything? Were we created to look for money? In my whole life, I have not come across any man who lives oblivious of financial involvement. Everytime I see school children going to school, something tells me they are getting the education so as to be employed and earn something. Most of the days I observed my parents conducting business activities and deals in the quest for money. Money, money, and more money everywhere.

      Does it imply that when a person acquires so much wealth they cease looking for it? Believe me even the richest man on the planet is much obliged to wake up every other morning in the quest for more money. In fact, it has been proved that wealthy men wake up much earlier than the less fortunate. Money is an insatiable good that God placed upon humanity as a curse when man fell in the Garden of Eden. So, what happens when one fails to amass wealth and enough money in his life? They become frustrated, dejected, discouraged, disillusioned and all sorts of depression set into their lives. What happens when one becomes rich? They become happy, joyous, delighted, arrogant, proud, and selfish and are associated with emotions that the privileged harbor. Nonetheless, all these two categories of people die in the end and none of their financial statuses matter anymore. All is vanity.

          Does that mean that one should then stop looking for money simply because their fate is written? Does it mean that toiling so hard is certainly an endeavor in futility? Even when we die, does it imply that what we did whilst walking and working on this earth was all for nothing? The definite answer to these mind-bloggling questions is a big no. Most of the billionaires in the world will tell you one simple fact. After accumulating so much wealth, a person becomes obsessed with other people’s perception regarding them. Hence, one always tries to find ways to “please” the society. That’s why you always find several charity works under the flagship of a rich man. Most celebrities who are performing excellently in terms of finances have instituted and funded a foundation or two. Even one of the best selling hip-hop musicians, 2 Pac, had no will when he died but those who were entrusted to his 100million dollar estate have dedicated a huge chunk of his wealth to charities.

          As we work hard in our infancy period, whether the hard-work is geared at ensuring that we realize our professional potential or business prosperity, the end goal is somewhat universal.    

          We all work for a greater cause, a common good. To make the world a better place. This is achieved whether we die intestate or we die after dedicating our wealth to our preferred inheritors. They will still leave the inheritance when they die too. The thing that matters the most, is that we made use of the little time we had in this world. It is better than having a miserable life and leaving the world a poor and sorry soul that made no difference whatsoever. It is time to make it count and go full throttle. Get as much money as you can, live life to the fullest, and nature itself will take care of the legacy you leave behind.

           A Photo of Bill and Melinda Gates who committed $375 million for  expanding access to contraceptives for some of the world's poorest communities.

MEN, PLEASE DON'T DATE TEENAGERS

            I quit dating raw teenagers. Yes, some teenagers are untouched, naïve, adventurous, and inexperienced. This fact does not warrant or substantiate why we should be dating them. I do not advocate for people who date extremely younger women. The reason is simple. You are worlds apart. You want her to be your last woman, yet you forget that for her, you are her first. Her first means she has to be seriously heartbroken in her life before she finally settles. She has to explore the dating scene but you are busy interfering with her lifecycle with your whims to wife her. You want a young woman because her beauty, purity, and naivety fascinate you. You know you shouldn’t be handling these sorts of women yet you defy the laws of nature. She dates you because she wants your money, your stability, and the financial cushion that you offer. But you forget that it is temporarily, as once a younger version of you crops up in her world, you will be erased and replaced. You become the reacher in the relationship while she comfortably becomes the settler.

            Later on, you become disgusted by some behaviors she exhibits in your entire relationship. She wants frequent texting, while you don’t. She can’t pick calls anytime you want to talk to her; instead you have to wait for her signal. Probably she fears her mum or dad, she is embarrassed to talk to you because she is with her friends, or she is with her young boyfriend – you get the point. She is indecisive, hot and cold. Her erratic mood swings and her unpredictability severely agonize you. You develop the uncertainty that you may lose her. She fancies phone conversations rather than face-to-face communication. In other words, the relationship is more imaginary than real.

            She is still a student. As such, she still fancies her classmates or people in the same category in her life. She still wants to date the coolest kid in school. She still cares about her prom dress and being asked out more than what she will score in her final examination. She still fancies that rich neighborhood kid who wants to be a musician. She adores people who call and text her every single minute and is excessively obsessed with unreal connections. She eludes and evades sex and real dates. She relentlessly flakes every time you make arrangements. She associates with men who worship her and are submissive to her. She behaves timidly towards outcome independent men like you who are the real Alphas in a world full of beta males.

            You are past that. You did that shit ten years ago. You were there admiring television actresses and adoring that life that is unreal. You texted thousand of text messages to girls, both beautiful and otherwise. You did that because it was a stage. You had to kiss through the phone. You can’t now. You need real things. You want to explore the tangible world. You no longer crave for dreamy things.

            You want her to pick the call when you call. You can’t text everyday without action. You cannot afford to have long-distance relationships. You can’t risk waiting for that girl to finish her studies only to flake on you and turn you down. That emotional, time, and financial resource-wastage is unmerited, unwarranted, uncalled for, and more so barbaric. You can’t drain your life like that like a piece of shit. You are more valuable than that.

            Ironically, there is no such thing as a soul mate. You cannot imagine or argue that the high school girl you met is destined for you. No one is. It is a matter of trial and error. There are over 3billion women in the world and one woman cannot determine your happiness. No one is special, there is no that girl who is not like the rest, there is no “The One”. There are just special women out there, albeit millions with qualities you are looking for.

            So walk away. Deal with real things. You can’t be a stepping stone for anyone. You can’t be used by these inexperienced women to get into the real world. Get a real woman. Get a woman who is unconditionally available when you need her. No more dreams, no more wishes, no more waiting, no more being patient. There is no such thing as work-in-progress among humans. That term is only applicable in business. You cannot work for projects.

            You’ve got to get a ready-made woman. A finished-product. They are plenty. You cannot aimlessly spend time with people who are a liability. Time is not on your side. You cannot do the same thing and expect different results. You will fail, spectacularly. You can’t guess nor risk. You have to do the right things, be happy and avoid people or things that make you sad.

            However beautiful, sexy, light, tall, busty, or feminine a woman is, if they are not contributing to your happiness, they are a liability. They have to be dropped. You must do make with women who are of value. Value here equates to availability, meeting emotional and other desires of companionship. There is no room for time wasters, there is no room for flakes, there is no room for teenagers. Teenagers who are allowed are those mature who have already had real relationships.

            Living in the future is a mistake. There is no tomorrow. The trick is that we are living today. There are no second chances in life. We cannot rewind our lives and correct our mistakes. Life is a movie with no sequel. Every second matters, every woman matters. Those who cannot be of use are to be discarded. There are no exceptions.  

                  Doug Anthony Hutchison, 51, Married a 16-Year-Old Country Singer in 2011

Hutchison, the LOST actor, tied the knot with his teenage sweetheart probably after she swept him off his feet while he was an acting teacher and she was his student. He saw a raw, unexploited, hot blonde who was not ''tampered with'' as compared to other older women he had prevously married and divorced. However, his expectations were curtailed when the teenager, Courtney, divorced him at 19 years, just 2 and half years after their wedding. She was already 'having fun' with housemates in the Celebrity Big Brother in the UK. What followed was drama as the relationship was marred with break-ups and make-ups. It never ended well for Hutchison. The moral of the story, don't date teenagers. Age is not just a number.

WHEN A RELATIONSHIP IS OVER...

When a relationship is over, you will know. You no longer crave for the person, you don’t miss them and you don’t look forward to hearing from them. Instead, you want them gone and even though you pretend to wanting them extend their stay, you pray to God to make them go. You think of all the negative things about them. You keep on reflecting on cheating incidences, lies, disappointments and even all the trivial mistakes. They remain unattractive in your mind and when this happens lust is gone. The reality is that you never loved them as it was just a form of infatuation, fantasy and a sense of owning someone, a sense of being somebody’s girlfriend/boyfriend. The thing is that modern relationships are based on physical attractions, idealism and theoretical imaginations. As soon as the person you are dating show their real image, character and personality, believe me you, you will flee.

To illustrate how feeble modern relationships are, let me take you through a typical example. Suppose you went to a party of friends where you mingle with members of the opposite sex, and then boom, you meet him/her there. You meet them not because it was fate nor a coincidence but simply because your darting eyes were so prying that you forced yourself to identify a potential mate. She is shining with beauty, her make-up blinds you automatically and her miniskirt shuts down your sense of judgment. In this scenario, I cannot blame you because if at that time you took alcohol, you can be sure that the woman will be more angelic, dazzling and even more your courage will be significantly magnified which is really an advantage to you.

Afterwards, you get her number and off you depart a very happy man now that you have a woman to woe, entice and make her your wife or girlfriend. Interestingly, single people are rare to find and so the woman will most likely be tied up in a sort of relationship. Depending on her point of view, if she is into you, you will know even without trying much. All you have to do is log in to your Whatsapp or Facebook and send her a text message booking a date. Now, this is where it gets interesting. She will agree or turn down your offer based on her current relationship and what you seem to be offering to bring on her table. Women are programmed in such a way that they are future oriented and hence they scrutinize an opportunity using the cost-benefit analysis mechanism. Yes they are!

If you happen to be hunky, fun and broke you will stand a chance. If you are older, ugly and rich you stand a chance too! If you have none of those characteristics you have no chance unless you have a very bright future or the woman is quite desperate. Luckily for you, you possess one of the qualifications and so you succeed on taking her out. Eventually, you date her, and remember you have not even befriended her before so your relationship is rooted on a very weak surface. You are dating her solely because she caught your eye and her smile seems to be sticking in your mind forever. It wont. She is dating you because you are beneficial in some way and so she thinks the situation will remain unchanged. It wont.

Even in a marriage that has very strong foundations of love, trust and understanding, there comes a time when boredom sets in. Therefore, a relationship is no match and even clocking two years is not easy. To begin with, you become familiar with your spouse. Her beauty fades and there, you have nothing else to love in her. She becomes an emotional liability and you start to see her as an hindrance to you meeting up another person. Sex becomes routine and since you rarely knew nothing of her personality, you begin to notice that you will never love her character. She also begins to see someone else or continues with what she had. There, it is over.